6 Reasons Men and Women are Drawn to Porn

stock-footage-virtual-reality-hypnotism-young-man-in-front-of-computer-screen-at-nightWhat is it that really draws men and women to pornography? Recently, I read a great post by Luke Gilkerson. Here’s a part of it:

I used to watch porn a lot. I hated how much I loved it, because I knew it was slowly chipping away at my soul, my relationship with God, and my ability to relate to women.

What fed my love of porn more than anything was the lie that sex was life. I was single at the time, and I had bought into the lie that sex was a basic, fundamental “need” of which I was deprived. To hear that God wanted me to give up porn sounded like God wanted me to give up life itself. I got angry with God for creating me with such strong cravings and then depriving me of what I thought was a basic need.

I had to learn that sex, though good and pleasurable, is not life. The desire for sex and intimacy is good, but even the best intimacy in marriage was designed by God to be a reflection of something greater.

Porn Obsession is About Faith

Nudity isn’t the only reason why porn is attractive. The power of porn is the story it tells: everything from the setting to the words spoken to the expressions on the actor’s faces tell a story.

We chase after porn because it is promising life to us—or at least something we’ve defined as life. We buy into those false promises and get hooked.

In his fantastic book, Closing the Window, Dr. Tim Chester identifies six promises the fantasy world of porn often makes to its viewers.

Below is my summary. This is the story porn feeds to us:

1. Respect

If we feel inadequate or rejected, our sinful hearts often crave respect, and porn offers that fantasy. In the fantasy world, we are worshipped by fantasy women or men. Porn gives us an eroticized world where we are man enough or woman enough to capture the respect of others by our sexual prowess.

2. Relationship

We desire intimacy, but we don’t like its risks. We want to be close to others, but we don’t want to be vulnerable. We want a real relationship, but we want to be the one in control. Porn gives us this illusion: we can feel “connected” but not have all the mess of a real relationship.

3. Refuge

In times of hardship or fear of failure, we want to relieve our stresses. When life is getting hard we want somewhere to escape, we want to pretend to be someone else or somewhere else. Porn gives us a fantasy world where we are never a failure: you always get to have the hot girl or guy, or you get to be the hot girl or guy.

Read the rest of this post here.

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