I love these great tips from my friend and fellow blogger and podcaster, Jeff Fisher from PorntoPurity.com. Read the first 5 below. If you’d like to read the rest of his post, go here.
I want to offer some top tips for you who are new to recovery. These are lessons I’ve had to struggle through in my own recovery, but I find them to be universal with most guys who want freedom from sexual sin.
1. The quicker you go to counseling the better.
Sexual sin is MUCH bigger than you. You need wise people around you to help you process your crisis and help you go underneath the surface. We have been acting out sexually for many reasons. Counselors know what questions to ask and have worked with may who struggle just like you. Break the ice on going to a counselor. Find a Christian counselor who has training in sexual struggles. It is money well spent!
2. The quicker you go to a support group the better.
Second only to a counselor, a support group is the best place to find healing and victory over sexual sin. You need to know you’re not alone. You need other guys to walk with you in the mud. You need to learn to come out of isolation and into real relationships. Support groups do all that and more.
3. Sexual struggles open the door for God to work in many areas.
At first, we think recovery is only about stopping our sexual behaviors. But God ends up using your sexual struggles as a springboard to work on many issues in your life. We are out of wack sexually, but also relationally, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. Expect God to do His good surgery in many areas of your life.
4. Sex is not your greatest need.
One of the biggest lies we believe is that we can’t live with out sex and that sex is the highest pleasure achievable. Our greatest needs are in other areas. We have a deep need to know God. We have a deep need to know others and to be known by others. The sooner you understand that it’s not about the orgasm, the further along in recovery you’ll be. Trust me on this one!
5. Recovery has little to do with your outward behavior.
This is probably the biggest shocker to me. I focused on my behaviors for decades and was counseled to do the same. Our outward sexual behaviors are the tip of the iceburg. The bulk of our recovery is underneath the surface. We need healing from wounds. We need to learn to express our emotions in a healthy way. We need deep intimate friendships. We need to learn to be selfless and serve others. Stopping behaviors is relatively easy. Healing on the inside takes much more time and effort.