The Porn-Free Family

family-talking-in-kitchenIf I had any doubt about the potential evils of the Internet, they were permanently erased when I wrote a book about pornography, and followed it with one on life and faith after the digital explosion. In the aftermath I received email after email describing what pornography and other online dangers had done to individuals and to families. Since I have traveled around speaking on the subject of technology, I’ve learned even more about just how harmful it can be to allow children or teenagers free reign when it comes to their devices and their access to the Web. We are handing power tools to children and acting surprised when they get badly hurt.

My children are growing up fast—my son is 13 and my daughters are (almost) 11 and 7. They are asking for and in some cases even needing greater access to computers. Their friends are starting to get their first cell phones. My son just opened a Facebook account. Even my seven-year-old loves to write emails to her grandmother.

I am getting nervous. I know all the facts about what they may encounter out there, but have done too little to protect them.

I am about to strengthen my plan to protect my family. I thought it might be helpful to share this plan and this journey with you, both to get your feedback on it, and to allow you to see how it progresses. I intend to report back in a month or two to let you know what we have learned along the way.

GOALS

I have four main goals:

Goal #1. I want to guard my children from seeing or experiencing what they don’t know exists. I want the innocent to remain innocent. In other words, I do not want my children to see pornography or to experience dangerous situations before I have been able to discuss these things with them. I have already had several of these discussions with my son, but not yet with my daughters. I believe this is a talk to have with them when they are old enough—probably around 11 or 12.

Goal #2. I want to prevent them from seeing or experiencing what they may desire once they learn that it exists. I am under no illusion that they will never want to see what all the buzz is about  and what their friends will inevitably be discussing. So I want to make it as difficult as possible for them to access dangerous or pornographic material, even if they want to.

Goal #3. I want my devices to remain useable. I want to avoid a brute force approach that forces constant password prompts or that permits access to only an approved “whitelist” of sites. If a solution proves too cumbersome, I know I will abandon it before long.

Goal #4. I want to train my children to use the Internet and their devices responsibly. It would be far easier to take everything away from them, but there is greater value, I think, in leading and guiding them as they learn to use them. My desire is to train my children to use their devices and as they prove themselves, to allow them greater responsibility and with it freer access.

To read the rest of this post, go here.

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