Settling for Less than the Best

by Frank Honess

We live in a culture that that values having the “best” of everything. Perhaps not all of us live way, but there’s a general mindset that craves having the latest and greatest of everything from jobs to cars to technology to clothing and everything in between.

Why then, if we’re a society that always craves the best of everything, do we settle for so much less when it comes to love and intimacy? We forfeit so many incredible meaningful opportunities for genuine relationships and exchange them for cheap meaningless sex through means of sleeping with complete strangers, using pornography, and pleasuring ourselves.

Sure, many would say that they want better for their lives, but how many actually achieve it? Take marriage for example: How many young people are really waiting for the best person they could marry rather than just settling for whoever comes along. And when it comes to the area of sexual purity, how is this generation really doing?

At the risk of being somewhat provocative, I recently read this thought someone shared on Twitter directed to the many men today struggling with their sexual purity: “You say you want a wife, but you settle for your hand.” I think there’s so much truth in that statement. I remember being one of those guys. I wanted better for my life, but I had no idea how to have better.

And I think that’s the overwhelming problem men and women face today: Desiring the best for their lives but settling for less because of the lack of knowledge on how to change. Fortunately, when it comes to seeking sexual purity for your life, change is ALWAYS possible. It’s never too late to turn your back on less and pursue the best.

It begins with a choice. Your purity or using porn? Your purity or sleeping around? Your purity or your hand? Your purity or your pain? Your purity or your anger? You and you alone are the only one that can make that decision.

I happen to also believe that none of this, including sexual purity, is really possible without the help first and foremost from Jesus Christ. God gave his son for our sin so that we could receive eternal life. But included within that promise is also a promise that says we’re not alone. In our addictions, struggles, and most painful secrets we have, there is One who fights for us and our purity.

Choosing the best for your life means that you let go of what is without value, even if that thing brings you pleasure. It is not a pleasure that brings lasting satisfaction and peace to your life. Choosing sexual purity is not an easy decision or journey to commit to, but it’s worth every moment of struggle. Because the struggle yields freedom in your life. And with that freedom comes the best you could ever experience.


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